OOTD: feeling shame

This is a picture I took almost a year ago. I will sincerely admit that I was so ashamed of how my body looked that I didn’t even post this then. However, I’m posting it now because I want to address a very serious issue with our society-extreme beauty standards.

Looking at this photo, all I can see is my double chin and my overly padded body. Instead of loving myself for who I am, I feel like I have to hide from the world. I know my weight is not super healthy, and I know that body dysmorphia is no joke. I also know that the beauty standards shoved on us daily are part of the problem. I see ads featuring scantily clad women with flat stomachs, collar bones showing, and thigh gaps daily. Granted, there is NOTHING wrong with looking like those models if you are naturally built that way. Yes, there are more and more “plus-sized” models coming onto the scene, which is great! Unfortunately, a lot of them are size 10 and below, which honestly isn’t plus-sized, so it pushes against me even more that if I am above a size 10, I must not be attractive. This is a personal problem on my part–believing what is fed to me by media that I must hide my body and be ashamed of my body fat. I still hate these photos but I have taken a stand against my eating disorders and dysmorphic thoughts. Sure, I may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but if I can’t even be my own cup of tea then how am I supposed to embrace my life?

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So here is me, in my plus-sized glory, learning to embrace myself and learn to take better care of my body out of love and not hatred!

(The bodysuit is from Torrid.com, the skirt is from infectiousthreads.com, and the sweater is from Forever21.com)

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